i just had sex bonerless
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
