I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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