WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Blood and glitter go together right?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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