I'm gonna have a badass scar
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
