I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
