god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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