You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
He felt like a one man threesome
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
