I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
