i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
