I wannas sexs uuuuu
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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