We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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