Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
