Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
