we have pet lesbian snakes
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
