I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
