with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
