Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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