He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
