should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
