Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
