It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
