I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
