He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I am available for nakedness
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
