She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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