How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
