By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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