seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I can't turn off my feet"
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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