U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
