I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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