Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Randomize
