I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
