Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
