Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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