I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
