Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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