The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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