I have demons in me.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
