i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
