Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
All I want is dick and wine.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
