Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
i now understand why vodka
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
