M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
People in love make me want to vomit
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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