I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Say something about gay babies.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
