Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
