I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
50% drunk capacity currently
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
