Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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