This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
