Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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