Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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