To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
