I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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