It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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